When Women Work

Kurt Schnaubelt, EVP/CFO at Avado Brands, Inc., USA recently asked an interesting question on LinkedIn: Is it still taboo for a woman to go alone to a man’s hotel room to work when travelling for business?

Elaborating the question further he said: “A male friend of mine invited a female subordinate to his hotel room during a work conference. Purely innocent situation, she went to his room, they worked and finished some needed discussions and a project. When done, they had a cocktail (still in his room) together. The female subordinate’s husband called her on her cell phone. She answered and innocently told her husband the facts as above. The husband was very upset citing that professional judgment required opposite-sex associates to meet in a public place, never in a hotel room alone and certainly not with alcohol involved.

Was the husband justified? Is the husband wrong to be critical (is he just old-fashioned)?”

Here are some answers he received – add your comments to these. You may also read all the other answers here:

“Yes, the husband is justified. Yes, it is unprofessional behavior. Yes, it is beyond socially acceptable norms. I’m surprised one would have to ask.

In fact, I would recommend the man’s company send him to sexual harassment counseling to ensure he doesn’t do something so stupid again. It opens up the company to potential liability regardless of what actually happened in the room. It demonstrates very poor judgment and I’d even go on to bet that one of the parties was either rather uncomfortable with the situation or may have had ulterior motives or expectations.

This type of behavior leads to long term workplace rumors of affairs not to mention undermining the woman’s marriage if she has to go on a business trip with this man again. It’s not really a matter of trust. I’m sure the husband trusts his wife, but he certainly doesn’t trust her boss. And, apparently, with very good reason. It was a very stupid thing to do (assuming it actually was innocent). And I would bet her boss was quite surprised she told her husband as well.” - Karl Garrison, CTO/Owner at Intelligent Fusion, USA

“I would not say it is taboo. However, I would certainly say it is avoidable. It is best to avoid certain situations, where you don’t know what the outcome or even perceived outcome would be, no matter how much this particular ‘boss’ is trusted. Even if there was a need to discuss the project in private and a conference room was not available at the hotel - the lobby was considered too open a space for the discussion, perhaps the cocktails could have been avoided. I agree with Marc completely on this. The husband is not justified, if he does not trust his wife. However, if it was just a matter of putting his view across then so be it.” - Lubna Kably, International tax consultant at Ernst and Young and newspaper columnist, India

“My short answer will be YES. This question reminded me of a phrase my dad likes to cite: “It’s not only about BEING, but also about LOOKING LIKE IT.” In this case, it is not only about just work together, it is also about keeping looking like it! And I would apply it for both, men and women…it’s sooooo easy to get bad intentioned rumors in the work place…” - Soledad Quiroz, Graduate Student at Michigan State University, USA

“I agree with the husband that this is unprofessional. A boss (whether male or female) should not put a subordinate in such a potentially awkward situation or vice versa.” - Anders Thomsen, Finance & Accounting Consultant and Contractor, Denmark

“I am torn on this one. I can imagine (and have been in) situations where the need for privacy to work on a project is necessary, and perhaps the hotel had no meeting rooms or conference rooms available. Having a drink to celebrate finishing — also a clearly foreseeable outcome. But unless I had known the man a very long time, or he was in a role that I trusted (such as a priest), I wouldn’t go to a man’s hotel room alone (I didn’t even go to the hotel room of a man I’d been dating for months alone).” - Cynthia Wunsch, Performing Arts Professional/Teacher

“Taboo? No. Smart? No

I would recommend that your friend doesn’t put himself in a situation where his professionalism is questioned. I am sure his intentions were correct, but the situation could have caused him professional and personal damage.” - Mike Clarke, Managing Partner, SPR Consulting, Australia